The Nathan Files

Ants

2010-02-28T21:29:00.009+08:00

The other day, I took a moment to observe ants foraging on my balcony. Those ants didn't know there was no food up here; the place was practically spotless. Yet they carried on systematically surveying their landscape for stray crumbs.

And, I thought to myself, "If only someone could tell the ants to stop wasting their time and energy, and search somewhere else. Perhaps in the kitchen area; there was bound to be a bread crumb or two. Or maybe the living area, where a potato chip could have been left unnoticed."

Sadly there was no one, no one to tell the ants that their search was meaningless, no one to guide these ants, no one to show them where the food was. The ants were helpless - it would probably be only by chance that they would stumble upon their food.

At that point, I was thankful. I was thankful to not have to be in the position of those ants, without guidance or direction. I am thankful that I have God to show me where to go, to teach me right from wrong, to give me hope.

Unlike the ants, I have a greater purpose. Yes, the earth would still revolve round the sun and the clouds would still bring rain even if I were absent.

Yet, I find my reason to live in God. His everlasting love for me has restored me time and again. When no one else was around to support me, His still and quiet voice echoed and encouraged me. His hands protected me many a time from doing foolish things that could have harmed me - even fatally.

My God has been with me from the very beginning, but early on, I failed to realise that. And even now, at times, I still end up neglecting God. When I look back, I think of how hurt God would have felt - the one whom he lovingly created, ignoring Him, and instead giving attention to other comparatively less important issues.

Reflecting on the hectic life I live; in which the opportunity cost for each action is pretty high, I have come to realise that in actual fact, the cost of not giving God time greatly outweighs all else.

For without God, I'd just be like the ant, direction-less and clue-less. I'd be searching where there was nothing to be found, without anyone to show me the way.

While I'm Waiting

2010-02-17T19:02:00.002+08:00

While I'm Waiting by John Waller

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

Chorus:
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait

Chorus

Let this be our prayer today - to wait on God, no matter the pain, the frustration, the tiredness; no matter what we go through. For God is with us, His strength will carry us through and He will be there to receive us at the end...

I for one, make that choice, to obey God and serve Him - to run the race. This is what I can do for a God I love. He first loved me.

2010-02-15T11:56:00.006+08:00

I haven't updated this in a very long time.. but i found these while clearing my files =)

2009-10-18T22:40:00.002+08:00

today's sermon was meaningful

what impacted me was that i must be faithful in all that i am given, big or small.
i shouldn't be complaining about my inadequacies, and on the other hand, complaining that my circumstances are too small or insignificant for me.

it was based on Matthew 25, the parable of the talents.

also, i realised that it wasn't how big our accomplishments were or what the outcome was, but how faithful we were. and i believe i've mentioned this before, even how small a task i am given, i must be faithful and do my best. i'll leave the result in God' hands, just as the servants did; they invested the money not knowing what exactly would happen, whether the master would reward them or just ignore their investment profits. yet i believe that God isn't a one who wouldn't reward us, He delights in blessing his people. (though sometimes it may not seem like it; God is always working for the good of those who love Him.)

and finally, the sin of omission. this one kinda did surprise me a little, of how it was a sin when one knows that he has to act in a certain way but doesn't do so. its not really a big surprise; but i never thought of it in this light.

im learning new things man.. =)

2009-10-09T21:49:00.002+08:00

its been a long time

promos are over. finally.

hmm things have been great, my tennis is better haha
still busy with stuff though. there's the A/Os coming up in a month, and PW OP....

it isn't like before, when everything ends once the EoYs are over...

oh well...

things have changed alot, in school and in cell.. hahas

this year has been pretty awesome and i believe that its gonna end with a bang; a good kind of bang ;)

i guess there are many things that have happened that God has used to teach me stuff, even the smallest things which seem insignificant. like recre bad.

being a ccal of recre bad is so totally odd, especially being amongst the rest of the sports teams. its like being a really small man who's pretty weak, amongst a bunch of giants with powerful biceps.

but you know what, im gonna do my very best and be faithful in what i have been given, for i believe that God has reasons for me to be in this position. i pray that He gives me strength, perseverance and wisdom in leading the team, inspiring them and rallying them together.

as for OP, you know what, (i really don't wanna do it and the momentum from PW is gone. teachers have been talking about how past conflicts will arise during OP and result in a poor presentation.) BUT, If God is on my side, who can be against me.

The same God who gave solomon wisdom beyond measure and placed in man understanding and great ability, is on our side. He designed and established the very knowledge that we have today. Who else would know better? and truly, if this is our God, who says he's gonna see me through and give me wisdom. I trust Him, and I believe that His word will come to pass.

2009-07-28T18:58:00.002+08:00

haha today was quite exciting =)

i finally get to go for pe. it was fitness but hey.. its fun stuff.. i ran n did lats... kinda woke me up for the rest of the day.

oh then we had the first tamil period that we left class only after the bell rang. for the first time we're dimissed late instead of the usual 15min early. and abhinav n prasheen were like quoting tamil words that just blew my mind.. we had a little discussion on grammar!! tt's so prodcutive.

haha i got all hyped up again during chem. teach asked me to explain a qn and i was stunned; cos i knew the answer but it was stuck up there. thn i got all ecstatic when i finally realised the answer and lyk bounced in my chair.. haha hmm..

its tt gd feeling when u ans a question correctly.

oh shide's getting a new racket. so we gonna go down to queensway to get it with him =)

they might stay over at my new place this friday. depends if jie qi cn make it though..

im behind on all subjs now.. thanks to missing sch last wk. but im oh so proud of myself for teaching myself photosynthesis and energetics =))) and im gonna learn sampling and reaction kinetics and market comparison over the nxt few days.. =))) whee..

2009-07-17T20:48:00.002+08:00

hahas i think i've said this before.. Enchanted is the coolest, awesome-est movie i've ever watched.

hahas its reali romantic.. aww... first watched it at camperama. thn during our sleepover, and today... aww... its heart warming.

makes me wonder if i'll ever find true love hahas okok....

tis week has been great. reali tiring with all the running though.. i believe the wkend's gonna be awesome too... church tmr, and tennis and scholarship thingy on sunday..

im tired but i feel awesome.

ohoh im at my new hse now.. shifted in yesterday... the stairs are quite daunting though haha.

oh im excited yo.. =)

2009-07-13T23:17:00.002+08:00

haiz... so many ppl are falling sick... =(

wayne's down for the week. thn jie qi has a flu, wen yu too.. and half of his class...

maybe i spread it to them... i was sick since the bio paper.. was reali dizzy and all during the bio paper.

ah but then shide isn't sick. neither is dehong or ram...or maybe their immune system is just so strong...

hehe oops...

oh well.. its moving week. im packing stuff. mainly my stuff... nvr realised how much stuff i hv.. i wonder how my mum can jus go on packing stuff.. i tend to fall asleep after awhile. but it beats hmwk...

whee....im moving... haha..

2009-07-09T22:40:00.003+08:00

hmm weird stuff happens to me man... i guess it can be cool... but also quite disturbing.

haiz... i need to rmbr people better. i reali quite bad with names and faces. argh. like every other dude is familiar, but i forget their names. i dun tink i cn rmbr many of my junior's names..

and sometimes i end up talking to people i don't know (yet they know me by name)
nt gd man nt gd... =(

oh my pw is all so so.... oh my.... our draft 1 of the report is due in abt a month, the final one is due in 2 mnths. =(

oh i feel weird now... all dizzy n my mind is numb... tamil oral is tomorrow. =(

haiz... gymmed on tuesday. and it was a light workout... yet my biceps hurt.. argh =( i hvn't been able to extend my arms fully for the last 2 days... =(

2009-07-03T20:34:00.002+08:00

ooh its been a long time... lots happened.
mmm not really... =(

been kinda boring.

i wanna go out and play tennis, but my throat is all inflamed. haiz... i really dont know what's up with my throat =(

argh..

and now there's pw on monday too =(((

i wanna go to jie qi's hse... hmm jus like how it was in january, go there to play tennis, then swim, play risk and get owned. then try playing monopoly, but get owned some more, then order pizza and come home....

i need to get well... i nd to play on sunday; their counting on me.. i can't let them down.

oh n now cca is cancelled until further notice. argh.. im sure. i bet we'd prob only have like 5 more sessions or so this year... argh...

ooh ooh i kinda hope federer wins wimbledon. i don't like murray, n i prefer fed over roddick or haas... so yea. fed ftw. haiz... if onli nadal were there.. then it'd be much more fun..

ooh i can't wait to shift. renovation's all done, and the house will be handed over tomorrow. and we'll be moved in by august..

whee the house looks cool... can't wait to get a dog like a jack russell.... mm.. woof.

*purr...*

2009-06-14T21:33:00.003+08:00

oh my tis happens everytime. i tink im like panicking or smth now.. of all times to do so... now...

haiz. jus realised tt our pw ppt thing is due in 3 wks...

CTs are in two wks.

i nd to go claim money frm SYFC tis wk. (brr...)

argh... ARGH.

ARGHHH...

OH MY... i've been slacking so much... ARGHHH

hmm =(

i can't reali tink now. i am reali panicking.

-------------------------------------------

hmm im cool now... feelin quite focussed..

just planned the nxt two wks. n i realised tt i hv no time left for anyth.. hahas. hmm.. its nt reali funny. hmm. =(

i guess i'm paying the price for the last two wks of going out and playing and watching tv. this wk may very well be 18hr++ days. and i gotta be slpin more by the follwing thursday...

well... gonna hit the books, sleep, wake up early n continue.

oh my PW... haiz... i tink we're gonna hv to rush it the wkend b4 the ppt =) as always. =) hahas

2009-06-12T17:36:00.002+08:00

well this wk had its ups n downs...

i tried to do work. kinda succeeded. but i hvn't done much. there's still econs, bio n chem.... haiz..

hmm BSB is comin to s'pore to peform durin the F1 thingy.. haiz.. too bad i can't go...

had our rec bad outing yesterday. well.. it did turn out to be a guys afternoon out. hahas. 6 guys + 2 not from rec bad who jus crashed. hahas..

was thinkin of hvin a rec bad camp - thn i realised it could actually jus be the 4 scouts + the exco. but tt'd be fun - we could movie marathon all nite.. and lyk order in pizza n stuff. =)

oh i went to my 2nd pc show yesterday. the first was when i was reali young.. hmm went there to get a printer. n kinda convivnced shu chang to go with me.. =) we had a nice walk, down past esplanade jus to get to Raffles MRT. with me lugging the printer all the way.

my tennis has improved... nd to work on the backhand though.

gonna spend the rest of the hols studyin. gonna try minimise the going out.. not much time left.

2009-06-05T22:15:00.004+08:00

mm so we went to the zoo this morn. andrew convinced me, thn convinced yx n amanda.. lol. i guess it was quite fun hahas...

thn the thing ended late n we rush back for pw consultation. lol we were 15min late, and onli managed to contact mrs lim 15 min later. but she was in a reali good mood. i guess smth totally awesome happened to her. haha.

played tennis with them aft tt. hmm if only it were some doubles match, but andrew had pw and someone thought it was too hot n decided to go canteen at first...

and thn played with some other random ppl hu were at the courts

hehe played quite well today, some good shots.. nd to work on my back hand though. hmm my timing's abit off at times too.. end up hitting with the frame on the forehand, sending to ball far left. n my backhand goes quite high...

wow i just watched soderling beat gonzalez. quite sad that gonzalez lost. they both played reali well... but i'm jus lyk "omg soderling can do tt?!" like all those wonderful winners that you'd think of hitting he just does them again n again. haiz... poor gonzalez.

watchin fed n del potro now... let's hope fed wins yea

2009-06-02T00:40:00.001+08:00

oh my yesterday was... ... ... ... ... ...

i went out to buy stuff with my parents for the renovation. i tot it'd be fun.

11hours later we got back home, and my mind was like totally numb.

this ain't the kinda shopping i signed up for man. =(

i'd rather walk aimlessly arnd some shopping mall or smth and have someone to talk to - yea someone to talk to. with my parents excited about each new thing; and engrossed in deciding what to buy, i was like totally alone...

2009-06-01T22:22:00.002+08:00

today was some rollercoaster.

started off slpy, thn became bored, thn found jie qi n i was cheery all the way on the bus.. thn i got a little angry.. thn i was ok.. thn i got angry again. thn kinda ok. thn reali mad on the way home.

i tink i was staring down ppl on the mrt n at the traffic lights. i dun rmbr much of the journey - was buried deep in thought, and frustration at practically everything.

plus i'm kinda stressing out over cca, pw n cts.. haiz. i know its so early lyk 2nd day of hols...

im totally drained. haiz.. frustration is so draining - feel dead now.

but the ccal trg thing got me thinking abt rec bad. kinda felt down aft the trg thn met jie qi n tt brightened me up.

been thinking about all tt's arnd me, trying to make sense of things. plan out what i need to do, what i can do, how i wanna do stuff.

realised stuff tt i could do better at - thn i started to think about how i became the way i am now, why i'm this way - almost went through a whole list of things to blame while on the mrt.

finally i realised tt its just mainly me - my attitude; nt to say that i have a bad attitude but certain areas are bugging me, and i nd to change

haiz.. its just all the little things - that when i do stuff without thinking n end up in a mess - and reali quite a few of such things that snowballed into all this today.

i gotta think before acting. lyk the times i almost got myself killed.

if not for God protecting me, i think i'd actually have been reali reali gone by now. so many close brushes with things all over the place. wonder how i survived.

lyk i was almost run down by vehicles numerous times when i did thougtless stuff, a couple of close brushes with sharp objects, times when i almost walked right into signboards n posts, having slammed onto a stick tt could have easily punctured my throat or crushed my windpipe,

oh n the near miss of a landing on my last flight - would have landed sideways or had the wing hit the runway.

like all these times God was there to protect me =) but thn i nd to learn to apply the lessons i learn. and apply them for life.

yay i feel much better now. =)

2009-05-24T22:30:00.002+08:00

today was just different. i can't describe it really. i can only say different.

i feel excited - it feels like i've got the butterflies.
i feel free, and just different

i was just watching "Dan in real life". its really nice. really romantic.

its like i never want 'right now' to end. but it will. life will go on. days will turn into weeks, and months and years.

what's my life going to be like - i wonder.

i was left alone at the library after my team left. and i had the chance to walk over to the bus stop alone. it was nice to be alone at sundown. in a way it felt good. to be away from everything, and just me - alone. not that im a loner.

it was nice, it was quiet and i just sat watching people pass me by.

right now im calm and there is an assurance and peace as i look up ahead. yet there's a certain curiosity to want to know how i'll be like - in a year's time or maybe 5 years, or 20..

i look forward to what ahead. it will not be easy at times. but its at those times, i can look back and remember times like this, and draw strength to carry on

even as i end this post, and this moment passes by. even as everything else around makes their presence known once again.

i know that, truly, this will never end.

2009-05-23T23:38:00.003+08:00

Friday was quite fun...

i was supposed to gym, but someone just didn't want to. ended up just sitting around rj canteen for 2 hrs with jie qi, paul , shi d...

oh thn paul sends out romantic smses from shi d's phone.. aww... HAHA
"just as the phoenix soars in the sky, my love for you is unending"

went over the ri to play tennis with dehong. the courts were full and i ended up sitting at ri canteen for an hour watching softball...

hahas the match was rather boring.. lol i put softball as my first choice in sec 1. hmm de hong said they offered him a spot. oh but the gryphons uniform looks cool, with the long pants n long sleeves .. yea tt's abt it..

thn we played tennis at rj frm 6.20 til 9.50..

hehe i can't wait to play again... hmm my racket doesn't have the same bounce as dehong's. i tink i need to play with mine more often... hmm i just need to play more than twice a month. gonna play on thurs n fri.. so it's cool

ohoh i kinda like ketih urban's songs... they're quite nice.. i always thought he was a rocker-dude, until i watched kris allen perform "kiss a girl" on idol. he's cool man..

2009-05-18T23:36:00.002+08:00

hit again and again,

one after another,

on the painful end of sharp yet blunt blows.

truth be told, it won't end,

its not my call;

but to get back up,

stronger each time,

a little more experienced each time.

having suffered the blows,

now its possible to stand,

to walk - to run

bring it on.

2009-05-14T21:13:00.002+08:00

wow. my new house is awesome...

Praise God!

its more than i imagined.

with so many cool places to hang out.

wow. like totally awesome.

hahas.

can't wait to move in.

i can't wait to pick out stuff for the house.

i can't wait to pick out stuff for my room.

lol and i guess i'll be living near dehong the rest of my life, unless he moves out. hahas.

whee...

Thank You Lord!

2009-05-13T22:03:00.003+08:00

i realised that i got injured in close toe very sport tt i played... especially when de hong's around.

i rmbr playing basketball with him n him hitting my nose so hard that it bled all the way frm the courts til the gym hall toilets -- hahas it was shocking and morbidly cool how much blood dripped out. (i left a trail of blood all the way hahas)

then there was tennis, when i volleyed at the net and he decided to pull of a passing shot or smth, he ended up driving the ball into my ribs

there was badminton - played with de hong and a boarder on the other team smashed the cock at my mouth, wayne smashed a cock at my mouth yesterday, and dehong swung his racket and made my pinky bleed,

and during today's PE floorball i got hit rather hard by the ball on my lip - hahas started bleeding - man the taste of blood was left in my motuh for the rest of the game - its srsly sickening to taste blood.

i guess time and again i gotta take one for the team.

2009-05-13T21:45:00.003+08:00

woo hoo we're getting the keys tmr, mm there's no electricity but we're still gonna check it out.. hopefully we can like use torches and stuff to look around..

it sounds really cool to be moving around in the dark, with no way of switching the lights on, with only a torch in hand. in a place that we're not familiar with..

its so movie-like... hahas we'll see hw it goes tmr.

hmm so im getting back on track with work.. starting to study again.. the coming CTs kinda woke me up.. hahas..

i wanna go play tennis but thn its gotta wait - sadly.. but its worth the wait. i'd rather be able to play aft CTs knowing that whatever results i get are my best - my conscience would be alot more free that way.

oh oh oh oh... my new place is gonna be a 2min walk from burghley tennis squash centre. =) sadly no one else in my family plays tennis.

oh and i can't wait to get a dog. =)) whee

i can already almost picture how my new room is gonna look like =)

but til then there's gonna be hard work and effort. =)

i nd to submit my water bapt form. its reali been long enough. i need to take that step of faith and do it.

2009-05-08T02:11:00.002+08:00

wow the last few days were reali good.. thn there was yesterday when things just happened that got me going

then i had a HTHT over dinner...

can't belive that im rec bad capt. hahas yea

was talking to jie qi today... oh btw he got voted president for gavel club =))

so he was talking about how even through these little things, God is moulding us and we have to be a testimony.

i was reminded of the parable of the servants to whom the master gave talents to, and how two of them invested the talents to reap rewards while one servant didn't do anything and was punished.

yea and like even this small "talent" that God has granted me is so impt.. its lyk one of the first steps to a greater callling and purpose.

we all start with little things, this is my "little thing"

2009-05-03T23:38:00.004+08:00

lol.... yea lyk shiddy said i was a little emo yesterday..

hmmm but im reali learning alot more about myself, God and like whoa... i was listening to sermons by Ps. Wilson and Ps. Dom today while doin hmwk

it was on Finding God's Will -- it opened my eyes and reminded me of how i shld be seeking God and yea..

hmm im like begining to understand more about the Bible -

my mom and i talked from 11 til 1am yesterday, she was like telling me about my childhood and times when God was so real in her life...

thn today we were talking about God's grace and how we cannot take God for granted just because his grace is sufficient...

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know"
- Jeremiah 33:3

and yea to end off...
sethu n shu chang were askin me that day about why every post has smth abt christianity and God...

the only thing i can say is that I've experienced so much that i can't help but just blog about it.
its like when your so exicted about something that you wanna talk about it all the time... hehe(like LDP *wink-wink*)

faith

2009-05-02T20:49:00.005+08:00

yea i know i said things were fine..

not exactly

there was a battle raging within me..

it is not easy to place all my trust in God, especially when i don't know what's happening...

but that's just when i need to put my complete trust in God

who really knows what going to happen?

i don't. do you?

yea i may have a sense of what might happen

but exactly what and how i can't say...

But knowing that God is in control, that His strength is with me.

is what will carry me on.

it isn't easy... but i will trust Him..

why?

i experienced and i believe

why?

its FAITH.

And I find peace
When I'm confused
I find hope when
I'm let down
Not in me
But in You

- You, Switchfoot

2009-05-02T13:44:00.002+08:00

lol yesterday was fun

we had PW mtg at bryan's hse... thn i had to leave early for OG dinner =( and i couldn't play xbox wif them... =(

lol i rmbr playin red steel with shiddy- woohoo... hahas it was the onli game where i owned =))

mario striker was reali sad(i kept tackling - the only thing i could do), mario kart was quite okay... but RED STEEL was the only one that i owned. hahas i guess its just a natural talent

OG dinner was great - hahas - i hvn't seen my OG since feb? went to seoul garden.

we tried using pepsi as the soup base =) but it started to coagulate, n leonard kept stirring the soup to prevent tt.. hahas boiled cheese sausages in pepsi --- they tasted sweet n cinammony...=)

thn i scooped up the coagulating froth and it tasted great!!
yumm...

it was an eye opener to how much we could realli eat... lyk some ppl jus seemed to have bottomless tummies..

ohoh thn we went to esplanade and waved to random ppl, n i discovered a side of me that likes being photographed =)) maybe i'll post the photos if i cn find em... =)

toodles.

2009-04-30T00:02:00.002+08:00

the past few days, weeks have been eventful...

learnt stuff, realised stuff, working on stuff

had my rec bad interview on tues, it went well... mm im hoping to get vice-capt. (lol my dad was saying smth abt scraping the barrel just to get into the exco)

i told them my one weakness was me being and introvert -- which i had to repeatedly defend.

but yea i am an introvert - not making to first move at times, keeping to myself mostly.... and this is just what i am working on this year; that God is helping me with - to be more assertive and authortaitve, and open, and forthcoming.

its reali cool and awesome how God works in ways that we'd never think of... it amazes me.

well lots of areas of improvement tt i've got right now, but at the end i'd like to look back and say "that's when God did ________ to help me in _______ area and here i am now."
- turning my weakneses into strengths..

oh and i met sethu today and we like talked for like 3hrs... reali nice to catch up with an old friend, plus its nice to finally have a meaningful conversation about sch and PW and stuffs rather thn talking cock....

though one thing that im reali disappointed at it my napfa =(((((((
i got silver last year and failed pull ups this year =(((( wah!! reali irritating man how complacent i was over the year... lol yea

anywaes im gonna start on my fitness again... hahas "ugly bulging biceps"

i can't wait for class camp

gotta

2009-04-27T22:30:00.004+08:00

its like a battle raging within me..

things i know i gotta do, but i don't wanna do.. i dare not do...
I need the strength, i gotta get rid of my reservations and do what i gotta do.

I have to let myself out... things that i've been holding in all along - now long to burst out. i can't do this any longer (no no i'm not depressed nor suicidal)

Its that feeling I had when I stood on the tower and had to step off and just trust the harness -- i didn't dare, i asked my instructor to count to three. and then i really did take the step of faith.

what came next was pure adrenaline and excitement as i whizzed down the line...

i guess its gonna be the same in my situation. the first few steps are hard.. thn the easier ones come by and soon we're all hvin fun..

i know i gotta do this... it isn't my strength, but it will be- (i don't have the freedom to specify exactly what im trying to say now, but in due time i guess i'll be able to say)

I don't have to fear, for...
"What can mortal man do to me?"
- Pslam 56:4

2009-04-24T00:14:00.002+08:00

today was a better, but certain things that i could have dealt with better

i got rather angry with a mate.

i shouldn't have allowed the anger to take control of me... i realised that i was just holding in the bitterness and maintaining my emotions - when i could and should have let it go..

the last few weeks God has really been putting me in places where I'm initially uncomfortable and then i end up learning something..

i realised that even though that as we step up to obey God and commit back there'll be hard times, but what i realised was that, our increased closeness to God would allow us to draw strength from Him to face our challenges, therefore, things ought to get easier...

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.

- Isaiah 43:2

2009-04-22T22:07:00.002+08:00

I'm gonna be doing something that I thought I would never ever do..

perform at a campfire - playing the guitar - at the 75th anniversary.

its seriously once in a lifetime
1. The 75th anniversary comes only once,
2. Right now, i wouldn't be the one to play the guitar for events - cos im still a beginner

it all happpened when i realised that wayne was learning to play, and i was too... later, we borrowed chee yeow's sister's guitar during the bbq and played all nite in the playground. then wayne came over to ''jam''... yea then the rest is history in the making. =)))

well its this sat - 25th.

its gonna be an exciting week ahead.

i was sick and am still under the weather - rather sad how it happened - i slept about 5 hrs the entire wk... so i lost abt 20+hrs of slp (which im not used to) thn i was playing with lego on sat nite til 3am and woke up at 7am...

thn ran quite a bit on sunday morn and felt feversh the nxt three days -onli to realise i had a fever only yesterday.. =(

haiz... im gonna heed jie qi's advice "Nathan, you'll feel the effects later..." -- i shld've listened to him, him being the one who had experienced it all in the last 2 years.... ;-)

------------

i have to thank God for these opportunities =)

ohoh plus recre bad is officially known as badminton - so whoever makes captain, will be the captain of badminton... which is sooo cool considering what we do during cca....

all that i am

2009-04-19T19:47:00.007+08:00

yeap so we had 2 pw meetings so far... things went generally well =)I do have to thank God,
He's building me in my confidence... i do have to be more assertive....

I remember having this weird feeling once...

- It was an anger that drove me to make changes, set the record straight about me.

- It was an aggression that got things done, that spoke "you don't wanna see me angry" - "i don't want you to, but if it has to be that way.. let it be"

- It was when I learned more about my potential.

I still remember clenching my fist by my side, battling to not erupt, and yet at the same time channeling it to drive a point at my juniors that "although i may be fun practically all the time, or just because i have a high tolerance, it doesn't mean that I'll close one eye and accept sub-standard work." i did not shout, i just stood my ground and spoke with authority.

that day my patrol saw a different nathan... and my juniors didn't really like me very much after that - but hey, it was anger only at that moment aimed to get them to get their act together.

not many have seen me angry...
i don't like getting angry, but there are times when i've gotta make a stand, i have to..

Well, Jesus got angry (when the people treated the church as a marketplace) He got angry, set things straight, drove a deep point on the reverence we should have for God.

but what he didn't do was allow the anger to take over his mind and actions. it was righteous anger - that had an aim to correct things, to make a stand for God. (NOT to hurt or insult)

but then let me quote this too ---

¹⁹My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, ²⁰for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

James 1: 19-20

so it doesn't mean that i can justify my anger.

I have to be more assertive. i dun nd to be angry to be assertive..

---------------------

i've also realised that - if i could go up to complete strangers and strike up a conversation, tell them about Jesus and then pray with them....

what's a little more confidence in my daily life...

---------------------

2 Timothy 1:7
"For God did not give us a spirit of fear/timidity, but one of power, of love and of sound mind/self-discipline."

The Cross

2009-04-10T22:43:00.006+08:00

i was watching part of this "Jesus Revealed" thing on NGC, and i see these guys trying so hard to find out, who exactly was at the passover feast, who exactly used her hair to wash Jesus' feet, How the cross was really shaped like a capital "T" or a small "t" like the symbol today.

they look so much into these things and then they fail to comprehend the messgae that the Messaih brought - Salvation.

I personally don't really care how the cross was shaped. all i care about was that Christ's crucifiction was of significance and one of the most important events in the history of mankind - greater than any war, economic crisis. That through His death on the cross we are given freedom and salvation, and through the resurrection, we are given eternal life.

Many a time we miss the whole meaning of it all

Oh and also - the NGC programme was kinda more finding fault in Christ (as all of em are). They illustrated the arrest of Jesus and claim that Jesus conspired against himself and then they mention that Peter cut off one of the guard's ear, BUT skip the part where Jesus heals the guard..

That's seriously not from God. Its the end times that we're living in, and its evident all around.

I'm gonna run the race for God, and tell the world who Jesus is...
How about you?

------------------------------

The past few weeks have been really wonderful, i have been learning new things, and understanding many new things, and now i see many things in a different light..

I now understand more about intercession, the power of the cross, God's love for man...

I've been a christian for 16yrs, but i only truly understand God's love now. And its simply awesome and overwhelming! The "Intercessory Prayer" book by Dutch Sheets really opened my eyes to the power of the cross... all this while i just accepted the fact that Christ's death paid for our sins and now we have the victory - but only now do I really understand - hey! We have the VICTORY!!!

Like, wake up from your slumber, as Christians we have the authority in Christ and we are victorious! We can do all things through Christ who has strengthened us - if only we were to wake up and take hold of that authority and live in righteousness...

So I thank God for helping me understand more about his love and who we are in Christ.

------------------------------

Recently, I've seen God working so much in my life and school. Its really like everything that has happened was orchestrated by God to teach me something or for something better to take place..

Haiz... i can just go on talking about how real God is and how much he has done for me

Even today when talking to Wei Siang (I thank God for being able to spend time talking to him and for him to come to church), i could just go on testifying of God's goodness =)

rainbow after the storm

2009-03-22T21:22:00.003+08:00

the sermon this week was on suffering and why God may allow sufferings and trials in our lives...

it was an assurance for me, in that " everything works for the good of those who love Him"; that i should put all my trust in God.

In a world where nothing seems certain, the best thing I can do is put my trust in a God who is certain; a God who has been there with me through the hard times, who has comforted me when I was down and helped me back onto my feet.

hahas... that may sound weird, but in the course of the last two years esp, i have come to truly rely on God and i find that in the end everything always turns out cool... and that's how i can testify that our God is real and able!!! =))

okok so yea i had a good flight today, the instructor let me take-off, i flew well, had the aircraft under control and did my calls and checks well... but then what i couldn't really understand was when he said that he has got to drop me from the course...

yea im not gonna be flying anymore, its the end of the syfc road for me.

it came as a shock to me cos my last two flights were actually much better than the first four, i was able to handle the aircraft better...

but in all things i will trust God, He has his reasons.. but the awesome thing is that " Hey! I've flown a plane"

Glory the God.
Pressing On.

2009-03-05T04:59:00.003+08:00

cool so i'm not withdrawing from council nominations...my interview's nxt wk and yea well... =)

and i've got a flight later today 1640. its one of the two crucial flights that would decide if a go on to phase II or not...

Let's trust in God and do my best =))

2009-02-26T21:01:00.002+08:00

i see love, i see love, light heaven breaking through
i see grace, i see God's face, shining pure and perfect love.

Each day I am amazed at what God can do,
Things I'd never expect that come true.

I smile when I think of things that've happened,
then I realise - Hey its only the beginning!

2009-02-23T21:40:00.002+08:00

i never did realise the power of prayer til recently. and now i know - prayer is more than just talking to God, its more than just asking God for A's or for protection and good health. Its a relationship. its a partnership!

our God intended for a partnership and as such he gave man the authority over the world. but man chose to hand that authority over to the enemy.

its just wonderful that the Creator would delight in partnering his creation. and that's where prayer comes into play. its our relationship with God, and its us standing in the gap for the rest of creation who does not have that same relationship with God that we have. its knowing the heart of God that we may pray in accordance to His will.

Because of the partnership that God intended with us, our prayer becomes powerful in that God hears the prayers of his people and answers them. thus making it possible for us to stand in the gap for our unsaved loved ones, to plead on behalf of them for God to show mercy. (considering that God being Holy cannot stand sin, but through our persistent sincere prayers he shows mercy...)

Wow! to think that a God so great would care so much for his creation.

Everytime i think about this, i catch a tiny glimpse of the kind of love He has for us - greater than the love we have for Him... words truly cannot express our Father's love.

you know what?

2009-02-18T21:05:00.003+08:00

im just gonna trust in God. He's will bring me through. that's the best thing i can do.

2009-02-15T18:34:00.005+08:00

this song makes me think of how it'd be 5 or 10 years from now and how it was 5 years ago... makes me sad... i love my dad..

Cat's In The Cradle by Harry Chapin

A child arrived just the other day,
He came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay.
He learned to walk while I was away.
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew,
He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, dad.
You know I'm gonna be like you."

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."

My son turned ten just the other day.
He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play.
Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,
I got a lot to do." He said, "That's ok."
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed,
Said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah.
You know I'm gonna be like him."

Well, he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son, I'm proud of you. Can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile,
"What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See you later. Can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."

I've long since retired and my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you."
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.

2009-02-13T23:06:00.002+08:00

well i got bored and yea:

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- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
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- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
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u!!!
- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
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- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
x!
][.Nathan-Man.][ says:
y
- SmarterChild - contributing to charity says:
and... z. yeah. we really make a good team, ][.nathan-man.][ .

2009-02-12T21:11:00.003+08:00

this wk hasn't been easy on me... lots of ups and downs.

well on wed morn, i was wondering if God was still speaking, was He still there?

and when i reached sch and met the igynters, rachel shared abt hw we shld realise that its a new season and God has many ways of speaking to us, nt just how it has been all along..

hahas.. and im lyk Oh! yea ok Thank You Lord. hahas..

and yea i mean God really knows when to surprise us. and i have come to realise tt every time i really really needed God, he was there - well he was there all the time, but when you really really wanna find Him, he's there =)
He's the one i can really really count on all the time.

2009-02-08T22:35:00.005+08:00

here are a few photos to recapture the moments...

teaching shide to cycle

Search those roots! - LDP '08

Toulouse '07

Bangkok '08

KL Mid Valley '08

OIP - New Delhi '07

Camp-a-rama '08

RESL Fair '08

Grad Nite

Venture Camp '08 (no tt's ram verma, nt me)

Unic

2009-02-07T22:57:00.006+08:00

whee i'm in recre badminton =) hahas its 1.5hrs a week of badminton =) wayne's gonna be appealing, of those scouts i know who applied none got in....
oh but shu chang got in too...

yea so i logged in to my msn and realised tt lyk 10 ppl added me. hahas i dun reali use msn nowadays. hvn't reali spoken to anyone on msn since november or so... hahas

oh my i was lyk watchin tv and almost every channel im switching to has the " viewer discretion - graphic scenes" lyk what!! haiz.... oh well im watchin, Cops

yes well i guess i;ve had a cool wk, onli thing tt's bugging me is the sore throat... =(

but there's still more to thank God for than complain =)))

and i kinda realised tt im reali quite unique =) hehes...

2009-01-28T17:50:00.002+08:00

wow. today was kinda pointless apart from the meeting with wailing.

and i guess throughout the day i heard a couple things that people shared with me and then there's this realisation that "hey! that's familiar! it's what i've been praying for!" and now they are being answered. yea its really encouraging =)

I believe that greater things are yet to come, yes i've said it before and i'll say it again. this year though ppl say its gonna be tough and also alot of studying, well that's only one part... i'm gonna believe for changes around -
yes so maybe change is a constant. but let me be specific - that my friends, school mates, generation will turn to Jesus, that their hearts will be captured for God.

The harvest is plenty, but the workers are few.
Matthew 9:37

2009-01-25T16:41:00.002+08:00

My Jesus by Todd Agnew

Which Jesus do you follow?
Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ
Then why do you look so much like the world?

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do you want to be?

Blessed are the poor in spirit
Or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness
Or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sand

Cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins
He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the rich
So which one do you want to be?

Who is this that you follow
This picture of the American dream
If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side or fall down and worship at His holy feet

Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins
But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part
Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize Him

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and the least of these
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable
So which one do you want to be?

Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud

I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!

Not a posterchild for American prosperity, but like my Jesus
You see I'm tired of living for success and popularity
I want to be like my Jesus but I'm not sure what that means to be like You Jesus
Cause You said to live like You, love like You but then You died for me
Can I be like You Jesus?
I want to be like you Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!

oh oh my

2009-01-25T01:42:00.002+08:00

yea so i can't really sleep, and i was checking my emails

and guess what - the dean of systems emailed me twice last week asking me to meet her to discuss my subject combination. "It is important for you to attend the session so that we can discuss and confirm your subject combi."

and i lyk didn't turn up for either!!! ARGH... i hvn't checked my emails since last saturday, hvn't touched the comp since last sunday

why is everything by email. some people just can't access their emails everyday you know - though i can. the point is; what if i couldn't?

anywaes i tried to arrange a third meeting wif her and er i hope nth bad would happen. hahas lol. okay. well.... hehes.. we'll see how it goes.

Surpirse

2009-01-18T18:25:00.006+08:00

Last night we had a friend over for dinner. We met him in Alabama in 1997 when my dad had a course, and he had come to S'pore on a official visit this week.

Over dinner, he just started sharing about how God has been using him in his church back in US to minister to people etc.

The issues shared during the long conversation over dinner were really encouraging. And what more, when we came back to S'pore after meeting him we never thought that we'd meet again, but 10 years later God brings him over here, that we might have dinner and what more - talk about how wonderful God has been.

Some things that were spoken of, if had been discussed 10 years back would have been utterly meaningless. But now, they had meaning and i could see how God moulded this family friend from being a non-practicing Chrisitan into a cell group leader who is impacting lives.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Now, there have been times even now in my prayer life that i have lost the urge to pray. especially when i see that nothing is changing. recently it has become so dry that i have to force myself to pray or else i wouldn't

and today my mum passed me this book - C.H.Spurgeon on Spiritual Leadership - (it was a x'mas gift to my parents, and she asked me to open it to see what is was)

I started reading and the first chapter is A Passion for Prayer.
1 Thess 5:17
"Pray without ceasing"

it really spoke to my heart and, Yea I'm commtting back to praying unendingly for my friends, family, school... and if i don't feel lyk praying, im gonna pray that i will feel re-energised to pray.

jie qi would know that i'm really not a reader - i've been putting away the books that he recommended me for a good 10mnths... yet i read this... hehes..

Its really amazing to see God's timing and surprises.. as we met the long lost friend and i opened a book and actually read it.

but also to see how God can work through us if only we'd let him.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a large crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us.

Hebrews 12:1, NLT

2009-01-13T11:37:00.002+08:00

hmm so i was doing my quiet time this morn and one thing that struck me was - The battle belongs to the Lord's

i remember hearing a song or the verse that said this and i looked it up so here it is --

All those gathered here will now that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord's, and he will give all of you into our hands.
1 Samuel 17:47

i have this little notebook in which i pen my thoughts, especially when im feeling really low or if there's smth that i really nd to write... and as i write it helps me see the big picture - primarily that the battle is the lord's.

now recently i have found it really hard to live as i should, being a christian, and as i was reading it dawned upon me that everytime i would make a stand to obey God, somehting would just come up. lyk for a couple of days i was feeling just so horribly low for no reason - there was lyk anger and frustration and then sadness. but i had to just fight it and carry on...

and now i am reminded that the battle is the lord's. i need not worry about the outcome of things, for all that he has planned will happen. i went through alot in the last year and it has all prepared me and helped me trust God even more.

Glory to God!!!

three saving questions

2009-01-09T22:05:00.005+08:00

i was on the way home on the MRT and i saw this lady with a tattoo on her upper back... thn i rmbred the newspaper article on how more and more ppl are getting tattoos.

now being a christian, i wouldn't wanna get a tattoo cos my body is the temple of the holy spirit. but then the sight of her's got me thinking - you know what if someone got a tattoo that read - "I love God" or lyk "God loves you", or "Jesus Saves"

lyk is tt alrite...? thn i realised tt it ain't rite.
firstly if God wanted us to have smth lyk "Jesus saves" on us to mark us as christians thn wouldn't he have made man with a phrase as such lyk man being born with it already??

but more than that our bodies are the temple of the holy spirit and thus we take care of our bodies, we don't smoke, do drugs cos it just damages the body that was given to us (cos we gotta be good stewards too. yea.. ) so if i get a tattoo it basically means that im hurting my body. "two wrongs don't make it right"

there are so many other ways in which a christian can impact the world that would not cause him to desecrate his body.

well then, i recalled smth my mum told me a while back that in all that we do we shld ask our selves three main questions
1. Does it please God?
2. Is it beneficial to us?
3. Will I cause someone to stumble by my actions?

if an answer to any one of these was no, then we shld tink again abt our actions.

so for example getting a tattoo that says "God Loves You"
- it does not please God (desecrating our bodies)
- it does not benefit me -- its painful, infections can occur etc.
- yes it stumbles a brother -- he may tink that getting tattoos is alrite which is NOT!

i urge you to rmbr these three questions, they've helped me alot in my walk with God especially when it comes to making decisions and i believe that it would help you too..

cheers, God Bless
N. Nathan

2008-12-29T22:03:00.002+08:00

hey hey... i had a great holiday =) yes again in m'sia =) quite a fair bit of shopping and eating

oh oh i watched bolt 3D... very cool... i have to admit tt i teared at the part where Bolt watched as Penny(tt's her name rite) cuddled the fake bolt -- these movies nvr fail to make me almost cry...

yea so tmr is my very first maiden flight on the simulator =))))) oh my i can't believe that im actually gonna be flying =)

Praise be to God!!

on the way back from KL i was jus reflecting on the year past n life - i realsied that i had been so very much blessed ni many areas to be given so many wonderful oppotunities to go so many place n do things all which i never thought i'd ever would. simply awesome.

i can't put into words how thankful i am and how much in awe i am of how God works.

Romans 8:28
Everything works for the good of those who love Him

truly greater things are yet to come. the times ahead won't be any easier than what has passed, it'll onlyget tougher and harder, the "survival of the fittest" would come into play. but ultimately, I'm gonna rmbr Romans 8:28.

2008-12-09T00:03:00.002+08:00

whee...

i finally got a racquet...
i nd to go play tennis...

SYFC is exciting...
hahas.. even though there's lots to study...
can't wait to to my sim... hopefully i cn get the slots i book

jie qi's back...
i can go swim at his hse =) sadly he doesn't play tennis...

...whee

why am i here?

2008-12-07T15:07:00.004+08:00

maybe i've said this before, but Enchanted is one of the most touching movies i've watched...
its just so romantic..
sniff sniff... its so heart warming...sniff...

i guess some pts that giselle brought up were quite true... esp with the couple getting divorced... makes me think of how we have complicated our lives so much - why can't we make things as simple as they were meant to be...

lyk strip away the facades and stop thinkin abt wat others might think abt me. haiz. i can' t really express it in words, but its lyk why can't we just see really why we were created and love one another, praise God and live to fulfill our destinies...

after all this life is just temporary... "we come into this world with nothing and we will leave with nothing" - can't we just focus on reaching out to those who need help, and not be so selfish?

well not really and i'd say tt this current state we are in is cos of sin, I mean God intended for us to worship him, but then sin came into the picture... sadly, we all have sin in our lives, but then thankfully there is a way - Jesus.

=) i guess this reinforces tht fact that "i am in the world but not of the world"

hmm i might have digressed abit. but am i reminded of my purpose... "to go out and make disciples of all nations".

I know why I am here...

Do you?

annywaes, i had my first SYFC session yesterday... whoa its no joke - hahas... the number of manuals and checks that i nd to noe.. lol yea but its exciting =)) whee... almost every saturday is gonna be a 9 to 5 affair... hehes

Cant wait to fly =)))))))

2008-11-29T22:51:00.002+08:00

"Whoever pursues godliness and unfailing love will find life, godliness and honor."
Proverbs 21:21

"Since God chose you to be the holy people whom He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience."
Colossians 3:12

Praise God!!
I'm starting my SYFC course orientation tis sat - 6 Dec. =DD

We Have Overcome!!

2008-11-06T21:00:00.005+08:00

I'm all for Christ.

i went with Jie Qi yesterday for the sermon by Nick Vujicic at the Heart of God Church.. i felt it to be much of an assurance as well as encouragement and also a prompting - to not be afraid but to take the step of faith towards where God is leading me.

jie qi, shide and jon lim stayed over last nite. and we had loads of fun.

but i wasn't actually thinking much of the fun compared to what has been happening in my life over the last few weeks.

i haven't been attending fellowship/fuel for a very long time. and recently during pastor gary's message God spoke to me and i knew that i hadn't been doing what's right --- being faithful in serving or making time for God thru FUEL. the prompting was so strong and at the same time the resistance to join again was so strong, yet i knew that if i were to walk the path as i had said i would i need to join back.

i guess the main reason behind not going for fuel for so long was cos i didn't noe many ppl and i felt left out. i believe God helped me overcome that and also instill confidence in me over the last 5weeks or so..

this may sound rather awkward or miniscule. but it was a big step for me. but when i took it, God just guided me through. and now im connected once again,in a great buzz group with a great leader =) im learning new things abt leadership and im planning to rise up and slowly take on the destiny tt awaits me =))

its one of those perfect examples when a decision is made and we take the step and the next step is guided by God. we may never know what to expect next be it trials or rewards but we can be sure that God is waiting there on the other side to catch us when we fall -he will never let us fall(certain situtation might be alllowed by God but he ultimately turns them round for his glory and our benefit.)

but more than that, i have been praying more and just immmersing myself more in his word, and i am seeing changes in the people around me - tis part's a little personal (i shall keep it confidential). but things that i have never expected are happening

there are also instances when God has used the sermons and messages to assure me of my walk and that he is actually talking to me and its not my own voice - an exmaple is Pslam 27. i stumbled upon that Psalm one night durng my TAWG, and i was wondering if it was some coincidence or God using that Pslam to speak to me. and during one service he confirmed that he spoke to me through what the pastor preached =))

another way that i'm seeing God working i my life would be through the K-love encouraging word emails that i subscribe to. ever so often there are specific verses addressing my need for the day. there was once when the verses in James 4:7-10 kept reappearing in the emails, everday with jesus, and service.
"come near to God and he will draw near to you."

as im typing this i am tearing a little =) for knowing how much our Father cares about us -me... you...
and everytime i think about God's love i just wanna serve Him more and more.
i have to say that his plan is truly perfect!!!
yep this is one my longest posts but its one when i've spoken my heart.

Each day,
I see Him unfolding my destiny,
Bound with His love.
So, even through trials and pain,
I will praise God for he has lifted me up.
I may not know what is before me,
But I have seen all that has passed.
And this I know that my God will be there with me
All the days of my life -
for he is the same yesterday, today and forever!

Hallelujah!!!!

his plan never fails

2008-11-04T21:00:00.003+08:00

hmm so i went out today... had fun. learnt new things. hahas.
saw my 'racket-to-be'. looked for Brian Littrell's Welcome Home.
fun.fun.fun.
now to leave with a thought:

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

Isaiah 53:5, NIV

When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.

Isaiah 43:2, NLT

2008-11-02T18:04:00.002+08:00

yay so i passed my interview.. lol. it was a little dots if i may comment.
my medical is on wednesday -well my parents said it shld be a breeze. hmm but i've nvr been for smth lyk tt b4 - its a little freaky from where i stand

hmm can't wait to
- fly
- get my racket
- go for camp

im reali bored now. slept for abt 2 hrs. haiz.... i shld go run tmr.

oh and shide got a racket tt he didn't noe abt -.-" Kzero if im nt wrong...
i mean if someone has smth u'd think tt they noe they have it rite..but NO... he's all lyk "oh i do? wonderful!"

haiz....hmm im hungry.....i've got a headache frm watchin tv. i shld do smth productive, lyk go learn guitar or read.

2008-10-27T22:44:00.004+08:00

For the Sake of The Call - Steven C. Chapman

We will abandon it all for the sake of the call
No other reason at all but the sake of the call
Wholly devoted to live and to die for the sake of the call

Nobody stood and applauded them
So they knew from the start
This road would not lead to fame
All they really knew for sure
Was Jesus had called to them
He said "come follow Me" and they came
With reckless abandon, they came

Empty nets lying there at the water's edge
Told a story that few could believe
And none could explain
How some crazy fisherman agreed to go where Jesus went
With no thought to what they would gain
For Jesus had called them by name
And they answered...

We will abandon it all for the sake of the call
No other reason at all but the sake of the call
Wholly devoted to live and to die for the sake of the call
The sake of the call

Drawn like the rivers are drawn to the sea
There's no turning back, for the water cannot help but flow
Once we hear the Savior's call, we'll follow wherever He leads
Because of the love He has shown
And because He has called us to go
We will answer...

We will abandon it all for the sake of the call
No other reason at all but the sake of the call
Wholly devoted to live and to die

Not for the sake of a creed or a cause
Not for a dream or a promise
Simply because it is Jesus who called
And if we believe we'll obey

brrr...

2008-10-27T22:00:00.003+08:00

whee.. cell outing turned out to fun =)) played frisbee and cat-chase-mice or the 'memory game' as they say... -- guess i'll be leavin them all behind nxt yr as i bcome part of Z2.. hmm didin't noe til sat tt i was the onli Sec 4 =(

hahas looks lyk eng han seng's session on frisbee tt day paid off =) we're watching HSM3 nxt wk =)) whee.. hahas

yea im excited - gettin a new TV tmr, plus a couple of results =)))

hmm im kinda behind time; jus a little. gotta do up a ppt by friday and try to edit and spruce up the handbook by friday too....

gots my SYFC interview on sat morn =) pray tt i make it thru =) -- thn tt'll be my new CCA =D

---------------------------

James 4:8
Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.

tt keeps comin back at me.... especially durin august. n now i stumble upon it again durin fuel. YES i believe God is trying to say smth =))) gonna take up the next SP class(hopefully tis year) and get baptised by next year.

tada

2008-10-24T21:27:00.003+08:00

so lyk its all over now =)
cant believe that i finished Sec 4... hahas.. gd n bad things to come

BAD
1. gonna miss my classmates - though we're all still gonna be in RI

GOOD
1. well there are always some people who u wanna get away frm - i'm sorry but its true... =(
(search your heart and u will see)

2. no more scouts!!! =)))

hmm guess RJC its somewhat different...
3. yes, finally a class of not just guys
but thn there are things tt i'd not be able to do no longer.
_lyk change in class
_tickle every other person i see
_there'd be fewer male toilets

4. hopefully, i can be put in a class with people i lyk - there is a chance
i reali hope my class won't be so reserved.. haiz.. if only orientation can be OBS again - so fun!!

oh no got stuff to do/plan. Argh!!! nitex.

plan

2008-10-10T23:08:00.004+08:00

so couple of interesting things happened til now:

1. i built me a fleet of warships and stealth fighters out of paper durin geog =)

2. beat jie qi at chess best 2 out of 3 [after nt playin for abt a year] =)
Jie Qi: "That's illegal hahas... (i eat his rogue) oops.."

3. learnt to play animal chess =)

4. today felt like a holiday. until i realised tt i had to practice math for following wk's test.... =(

5. jus read tt jamie spears is pregnant Again.... IMSER WTH!!!! sick... she's 17. im 16. sick.

6. Jie Qi devised an ingenious plan to conquer the world -.-"

2008-10-07T22:23:00.000+08:00

[sleepy. must study. sleepy. ]

But you do not know what will happen tomorrow! Your life is like a mist. You can see it for a short time, but then it goes away.

James 4:14

i am a flower quickly fading
here today and gone tomorrow
a wave tossed in the ocean
a vapour in the wind

still you, you hear me
when i'm calling
you catch me when im falling
and you told me who i am

i am yours
i am yours

love

2008-10-05T18:46:00.005+08:00

yay i feel great today - accomplished a considerable amt of work - still lots to do whee... im on a roll =)))
I was struggling yesterday - a whole host of emotions just came down on me. i was okay one moment then emo the next and anxious...
but one thing i've learnt would be to trust God n obey Him...

2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity but a spirit of Power, of Love and of Self Discipline
(NLT)

You Lifted Me Out - Chris Tomlin from the album Hello Love

You lifted me out
You lifted me out
And set me dancing, dancing
Free, now I am free
Your love rescued me
Now it's the anthem I'm singing

2008-10-03T20:59:00.004+08:00

I Will Go

Give me a heart for this generation
Set me apart for your great commission

I will go
Wherever you lead I will follow
I have counted the cost
I will carry the cross

So take my hands
All that I have they are yours
And you have laid out my course
I will live for this cause

onward

2008-10-01T22:29:00.005+08:00

1) i teared as i watched ratatouille - the part when Ego(the food critic) was eating the ratatouille and the had the flashback to when he was young.. sniff sniff

2) hmm i tink shaving is fun... but time consuming...

3) 9 days til EoYs.

calm. excited. anxious. contented.

Lets do it!

big pic

2008-10-01T03:01:00.002+08:00

according to iTunes, i've tuned to K-love radio 61 times - if i listened to it for about 2.5 hrs each time - tt'd mean i have spent just abt 6 days listening to Klove non-stop...

jus lyk how we spend 1/3 of our lives sleeping prob 25yrs of jus sleeping

u nvr reali get to see the big picture as such...

oh

2008-09-30T10:39:00.002+08:00

so i was lookin thru the papers - at the movie listings

The Chaser: M18 (violence)
Bangkok Dangerous: NC16 (violence and nudity)
Big Stan: M18 (mature content)
Disaster Movie: NC16
and then
The House Bunny: PG

Wow. doesn't something seem out of place?

far away

2008-09-26T22:17:00.002+08:00

hmm i dun tink i got to the finals... well i hvn't heard anyth abt it... but i guess if i actually did, someone would hv told me by now...

oh i dun reali care.. hahas semis was alr wonderful! =))))
oh yea n glendon was tellin me abt the publication being posted on the oneppl webbie... tt's quite exciting.. but thn it means work.. which i dun mind actually =)))

tis wk was kinda wasted... i didn't study much... i dun rmbr doin anyth frm wednesday til today.. other thn finish off my chem. ah so its 4 more wkends tt i hv til the END...

lookin forward. the onli thing i cn picture myself doin after EoYs would be staying back after sch n playin tennis, til the strings break or my hand cramps - lol... given tt there's someone to play wif =))))

i dun reali hv any plans other thn tt... oh my oh my.. CAN'T WAIT

TunA

2008-09-24T23:30:00.004+08:00

yea so i did some drawing of a fish tis morn abt 1.30am for retro bio... guess which one is mine? hahas... - the other one was printed off the net - ben chang did say that we could have some help o=) its lyk the one below hahas... yay im so happy...

oh n we had a weird time durin the lit play rehearsal today - we were lyk teaching gregory to be more feminine... n thn the weird thing... everyone starts trying to be feminine. but gregory jus couldn't do it.... A REAL Man... =DD hahas

n i kinda freaked out ppl in the library when i started rehearsing my lines on the couch... lol had a fun time with kejing.. toking abt milk, abuse, tennis, and good-news-bad-news jokes...

oh my dom reminded me tt there's 16days til EoYs... gosh... its so near, n i'm nt exactly half done.. i tink i shld really lay off the blogging n internet for awhile.... but thn its 1month til the end of EoYs..... sobsobsobs

retro

2008-09-23T23:09:00.003+08:00

wow.. i first rmbr hearing this song when i was very young... maybe abt 4yrs.. - tt's lyk 12 yrs ago =) i rmbr sitting in the back of the car in the child seat n driving along the road at night n listening to this song..

it was the first song tt ever struck me... n that i liked. i jus heard it on the radio n knew i had to go find it. hahas i jus realised its title and lyrics today.. =) memories.... i guess tis will be a song tt'll stay wif me for a along time to come

and what more the song is lyk 25yrs old... hahas... really retro stuff...

and today was the first time tt i used yousendit... hahas.. breakthru...

peppermint

2008-09-22T22:19:00.002+08:00

yea so i hv not really exercised much since the sept hols. n i cn feel myself just getting softer...
im losing muscle mass.... i dun really hv the time to gym though.. too bad..

yea so in a bid to get a little fitter n convert those glycogen cells to muscle - i did lyk 60 pushups today, was toying with my forearm 'squeeze squeeze' thing, n i found my dumbbells which were long forgotten... hahas gotta regain the strength... GRRR...

hmm i ended sleeping at 4am yesterday(or tis morning)... n i'll prob slp at 2am today..
gonna experiment with the same peppermint tea i had last nite to see if tt was wat kept me awake...

=P

reminiscence

2008-09-22T02:01:00.003+08:00

A letter from God...

My precious child,

To see your circumstances with temporal, human eyes is to see heartache, tragedy, reason for regret.

I know that, for I see it, too. But with my eternal eyes I can see more. I can see beyond your heartache to your healing, beyond your regret to your renewal, beyond your tragedy to your triumph.

For, you see, I am constantly at work in the child who has trusted all to me--at work healing, changing, renewing. I long for all of my children to know that I am committed to taking the bad, the tragic, the evil things that come into their lives and using them to bring about good things.

I am committed to redeeming every failure or injury or wrong. And what is more, I am using every human heartache to remold you more and more into the image of my Son.

Please, my child, keep these truths tucked away in your heart. And in the midst of this trying time, remember: Not one tear will be wasted.

Trust me and see,
God

k so im lyk jus so guilty of wasting my last three days doin nth much... yea i finished some math - but 2 whole days for slightly more than half a rev wksht... is too long...

i can seem to concentrate for short bursts of time of abt 1-2hrs... n thn once smth breaks the concentration all is lost...

haiz... i feel guilty... im memorising my lines now.. haiz... sniff sniff...

*SMU keeps comin into the pic, so does LDP....

ARGH

2008-09-21T15:37:00.004+08:00

fei man... jus cos i couldn't make it yesterday thnx to the flim symposium i now have to play gulliver in our lit thing..
xiao.. there's lyk ALOT of lines for tt!!!!!!!

wah... n i nd to memorise all of it by tmr... - i dun even understand some words, lyk wats
incredulous, feigning, igonminios, Exarch, surreptitious, clandestine, furtive..

k so maybe my vocab isn't tt good.. wat the bomb... imser...!!!!

n tis is my opening - some bomb long - well the whole of Act 1 is just me!!!! WAH!!

G: well what do we have here? it appears I have been cast adrift on the most unpleasant little tugboat, with merely four days, of provisions, as some dutchman couldn't take a little criticism. not like me though, i have braved the storms, ive survived incredulous situations, and i stand here, with the light illuminating my face...or not

why if i didn't know any better i would think that the land mass levitating above me might just be a flying island. well im never really wrong am i, so i can syrely ascertain that that i have made a credible judgement on the nature of its purpose

civilisation! and taking into consideration that the distortion of size is attributed to the linear distance between them and me, i would conclude that they be right about as tall as i am, for once, i am encountering inhabitants, of similar stature, though presumably not of similar wisdom.

I've surely detined to rot on this miserable isle if i don't find a way to leave soon... and flying islans are never more in style, so why not?

so lyk tt's only abt 1/3 of my total lines Dx

whee

2008-09-20T23:40:00.001+08:00

i got a new skin.. well i didn't wanna study.. so yea.

haiz. gotta study. onli 4 wks left n abt half of math done.

2008-09-19T23:01:00.002+08:00

ah i didn't realise i had the song he will carry me...

hm so i changed to my dad's old phone.. cos mine jus can't sms at home... =((( smth's really wrong wif my hse n my phone - some twilight zone thing tt i guess i'd nvr comprehend

i mean, i cn sms in the lift, but once i step thru my door... the reception jus cuts off =(( -.-"

oh well there's some film symposium thing tmr at smu... hahas SMU - i rmbr the first time i went there, got lost and went to the wrong building (unknowingly) n insisted that i be let in... until my team mate called me n told me i was at the wrong building..

lyk dots.... so i've got the address - tis time i'll make sure its the correct place hahas =)

the truth is that:

2008-09-14T13:55:00.003+08:00

"The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him."
- Lamentations 3:25 (NLT)

and i can testify to it -

no matter what has happened in my life, God always turned it round for his glory in the end. building me each and every time...

*I don't care what the world may think, but I am for Him!!

2008-09-13T11:14:00.004+08:00

I was just watching the interview with Steven Curtis Chapman on CBS. It is really sad, but at the same time, his faith through the hard times does impact me..
(there's a random ad before the interview clip)

Cinderella
She spins and she sways
To whatever song plays
Without a care in the world
And I'm sitting here wearing
The weight of the world on my shoulders

It's been a long day
And there's still work to do
She's pulling at me
Saying "Dad, I need you

There's a ball at the castle
And I've been invited
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone...

She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed
She wants to know if I approve of the dress
She says, "Dad, the prom is just one week away
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

(chorus)

Well, she came home today with a ring on her hand
Just glowing and telling us all they had planned
She says, "Dad, the wedding's just one months away
But I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
But I know the truth is,
the dance will go on...

2008-09-09T20:24:00.003+08:00

yay so math wasn't too bad after all... i improved by 0.5 marks n gained 1.6%..

bio was quite gd too - thank God...=)

mm so shide has been commenting abt his class being 'oh so' christian... haiz... n also tt i am 'oh so' chirstian...

i believe tt this kinda the legacy tt i said i wanted to leave - to let the world know who i am in Christ.. =)) n to live i a way tt ppl will notice it =))

and so shide, i jus have to say tt im this way cos i have experienced God in my life... there's just nth else tt has captivated me as much =D -- i do pray that you too will be able to experience what i do each day =)

Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord ...
--Philippians 3:8, NLT

mymy

2008-09-08T20:04:00.002+08:00

yay today has been interestingly fun..

praise God - i guess one of his birthday presents to me was a 90% for the geog cct tt i took on my bday=) hahas... cool.

we found a soft spongy ball on the artificial turf and brought it back to class - its PE Dept. property, but we'll jus wait til Romi sees it in our class... - so lunch was spent 'inventing games' a sort of weird table tennis with the ball n the teachers table.

i nd to run, or hit the gym... i feee reali lazy.. argh.. i nd to shed the baby fat (tt jus didn't wanna leave, n hasn't left)... and i NEED to study.. GOSH, i thought i had 5wks b4 the EoYs. but no.. its 4wks.. Oh My!!!

n i reali do wonder why ppl call me 'Nathan' n nt 'Nicholas' or 'nic' ---> i send an email to someone n adress myself as 'Nicholas Nathan', but she replies -> Dear Nathan... -.-", thn Mr tan calls me Nathan too... until during night hike when i was tokin to him n he asked which was MY REAL name...

-- yea i get tt alot

2008-09-07T02:00:00.002+08:00

k so i do nd slp... hahas...

oh well gotta slp n finish all my overdue stuff tmr, so i cn catch some shuteye and watch the finals...

fed for the win!!

2008-09-06T22:51:00.001+08:00

COOL.

the school bag article on our camp came out =)

http://www.schoolbag.sg/archives/2008/08/a_camp_for_amazing_racers.php

hahas... whee... yay... lol... oh my...

COOL.

study.

2008-09-06T14:35:00.003+08:00

hmm so im the moderator of 4 blogs, 3 of which are dead.. hmm - maybe its jus me...hmm

oh yesterday was weird but whee.... lol

as for the semis presentations, well - some ppl exceeded their given time... well actually close to everyone.. and so i was delayed by 1hr 30min.. -.-"

anywaes, the presentation went well... whee... oh n onepeople wants to put up the search those roots camp on their website - hahas

haiz... i've nt been studyin over the last wk - onli did math for abt 2hrs+... argh.. must study!.. onli 5 wks, and 3 terms worth of stuff to learn again...

gosh the guy on disney channel was lyk - "it's been a while, and now Bean's back" -gosh - being lame's the new in-thing eh..

empty me

2008-09-02T00:39:00.006+08:00

Empty Me

I've had just enough of the spotlight when it burns bright
To see how it gets in the blood.
And I've tasted my share of the sweet life and the wild ride
And found a little is not quite enough.
I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change.

Chorus:
Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.

I've seen just enough of the quick buys of the best lies
To know how prodigals can be drawn away.
I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change.

(chorus)

Cause everything is a lesser thing
Compared to you, compared to you.
Cause everything is a lesser thing
Compared to you. So, I surrender all!

(chorus)

This is a really meaningful song, and i do hope that everyone will make it their prayer as they hear it. Empty me of me.. so i can be filled with you..

nite hike 08

2008-08-30T23:15:00.005+08:00

wow i thank God that night hike went as planned.. although we had to skip 3 checkpoints...we still made it in the end. - oh yea thank God that it didn't rain at all during the hike or after =)))))

the SU was weary by the time we reached east coast, but everyone seemed to be dying only until the big mac and fries were on their tray... - someone even ate too much and felt nauseas after that -.-"

it was an oppotunity for me to plan something and more so to execute a proposal.. and i have learnt too.. especially in how to give a good debrief. =) im a person who gets to the point and so i tend to skip all the - "congrats! you guys did well! hope you enjoyed! we had fun!" - stuff.... esp when time is short and i wanna get things done fast.

but tt stuff is impt nonetheless.. it keeps the team going strong.. so yea i've learnt. =)

i just look back over the last few weeks and whew... He pulled me through =)... wow i just can stop thinking about how God has helped me alot.

i had the energy and composure yesterday to not get angry - even though i was a little pissed off with some ppl - hehe.... and also the presence of midn to oversee and make sure things went smoothly...

the hike was long - and it would have been 27km before we cnacelled three checkpts. as hao qin said - tt's a GTC hike!! - yea so it should have been shorter. i nvr realised the length til he told me tt. i mean having gone thru GTC twice and 3 night hikes 24-27 km isn't very long. at 3-4km per hr it'll take abt 7hrs.. which is the time we had yesterday.

as the J1s said... recceeing the route in conditions that the SU would face on tt day would have made it better... so tt's means hiking from abt 5pm to 12am...

i am pleased with how things turned out. and i am pleased with my performance. i have to thank the night hike team and the teachers and the GC for their support.. lol yea.

i think dehong did well yesterday... helping me manage the SU.. keeping them in check and esp taking care of them at crossings =))) Thanks man!

whee tennis yesterday was fun.. i played well.. haiz.. to bad tt it stopped raining onli after we stopped playing -.-". i slipped on the court a couple of times hahas...

2008-08-26T20:43:00.002+08:00

so i lyk walked 10k+ today =) close to half the night hike route. i sang, i ran..

i almost got myself knocked down or killed a few times thank God nth happened =))

haiz... oh well i hv lots to do - math prep, ppt for briefing.. oh my oh my.. i feel weird now abt tmr's test.... ahhhh...

*gosh First Class is annoyingly lame. oh my, i've nvr seen smth tt bad... even koala is better thn tt...

2008-08-23T21:36:00.005+08:00

hmm.. so now im the night hike ic... sort of a second or third chance tis yr to plan and execute smth... guess i'll hv to apply all that i claimed to hv learnt during my re presentation n oral defence...

hmm so the last two weeks have been tough for me - emotionally, physicaly, mentally. u name it i prob experienced it. i guess it all jus God preparing me for things to come... =)

i have been asking God to speak to me and show me... n i nvr realised til today during the sermon - how he has been showing me things all thru these two weeks. from me 'chancing' upon Pslam 27; which jus 'happened' to minister to me on that very day and hour.... to the verses that Klove has been sending out...
Wow.... =)))

He Will Carry Me - Mark Schultz
I call, You hear me
I’ve lost it all
And it’s more than I can bear
I feel so empty

You’re strong
I’m weary
I’m holdin’ on
But I feel like givin’ in
But still You’re with me

And even though I’m walkin’ through
The valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I’ve been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will
Ever need
And He will carry me

I know I’m broken
But You alone
Can mend this heart of mine
You’re always with me

And even though I feel so lonely
Like I’ve never been before
You never said it would be easy
But You said you’d see me through
The storm

This song jus says it all... I thank God for all he has done, wun be easy but he will see me thru.

revolution

2008-08-18T22:33:00.004+08:00

cool. so tmr's my b-day... but im onli thinkin of bio, oral defence n math hahas.... - gonna mug all day n nite for the nxt 2 weeks, thn break for sept hols n continue til oct 20th... hahahas

mm... so done half my bio rev.gonna do geog one last time before i sleep... haiz... dunno when i cn start math.

oh my showcase portfolio's also due... my my... nt gd nt gd...

my mum made lasgana today... mmm.... almost heavenly.. i ate the cheese sauce plain mm.....

oh yea tis sunday's my run - prob do a 5.5km on thursday... haiz... i gotta start dieting again - ate alot of cooking chocolate jus now.... hehes...

--------------

im feeling very on abt studying - well except math.. hahas -- im feeling good =)))))))))))

shine

2008-08-16T23:35:00.003+08:00

im on high.. hahas... whee...

i jus see God working in my life... and wow... place my trust in Him...

so my b-day's in lyk 3 days... hahas; 3-days to geog cct too =))

So yay!!! finally federer wins olympics gold. =D if only he played lyk tt with blake...
haiz... i feel lyk playin tennis.. mmm =( can't wait to get my racket after eoys...=)

oh my oh my... whee...

i tink my new pic looks quite cool... if only the resolution were better =))

complete

2008-08-12T18:52:00.003+08:00

chem test over, bio ca tmr, re ppt might be tmr -.-"

yea so cynthia chang hasn't told us if we're presenting tmr or not =( so im preparing jus in case.. - i dun even noe where to go tmr -.-''

went for bio remedial which was sadly quite pointless.. i tink i could have studied the whole topic in tt 1.5 hrs... =( i prefer efoo, as compared to the one hu taught us today(no offence) -nt sure hu it was...

---------------

so being with mingjie, dehong and wei feng together is...lyk totally disrupting the field of thought, jamming the brain waves...

spoke to samuel on the phone for a while... kinda pouring out his sorrows abt sch...

---------------

got back PR2, my gpa is a sad 3.2 now... i nd to pull my math up by at least 10 to 12% over the next TA, cct n eoy... thn my avg would be close to 3.5smth =))) not impossible

arm wrestled ke jing, ming jie n dhong.. guess hu won... =D morale booster hahas....

so im lyk half asleep now, prob sleep at 9+ n wake up abt 5am to prepare RE...

astound

2008-08-10T17:57:00.002+08:00

i feel irritated now. wif almost everythin - the earphones keep tickling my face, my table's very messy, the bench behind me is very messy, the chair is too hard... ah i cn go on n on..

whew now tt tt's over,im actually rather excited abt RE, kinda lookin forward to the presentation..

the wk ahead seems fine but thn when i look at it carefully - i see chem test, bio test, re presentation, website, math test, 2 tl compos... freestyle proposal/recce.. haahas.

all three subjs tested are of great imptance now - i nd to pull up my math to 3.2 or else my overall will be rather low - 3.2avg =(((( - compared to 3.56 last yr... haiz... i've got 3, 4.0s - bio chem n tamil... i cn do better tis yr...=))

i nd to maintain my bio, chem 4.0s n score reali well in the integration TA...

i thank God for the 4 days of rest, to catch up with work.. 2.5 days down, 1.5 to go...

oh n i ran 5.4km yesterday =DDD all of a sudden 6km doesnt seem too long - i tink i cn make my target of <45min.

oh and tennis on friday was cool =) played horribly at first but later when i played wif yi ming.. it was lyk some 100% improvement hahaha... ran up to the net, jumped did a high backhand at the edge, jus in time, thn yiming volleyed n i smashed the ball - scoring a pt.... hahaha whee...

i seriously surprise myself sometimes... im astounded at how well i play - oh n i had great math lessons where i understood the whole lesson - i actually participated voluntarily lyk the first time this year!!!!!!!

right on.

2008-08-01T20:40:00.005+08:00

so i ran today - abt 3.5km.. whee.. im tired now but it feels gd... gonna press on, run on sunday again whee..

hmm so im running out of ideas of tagging on koala's blog, i can't use rachel, rebecca, betty, or childhood friend... hahas - i do wonder hu the 'rachel' hu's going to shanghai is... tt ain't me!!

gotta do RE tonight. hopefully cn get it done. its due wednesday. omg. i nd to do the ppt too!!!! argh!!

oh my i just drank out of my bottle tt's been in my room for abt a week... n it smells weird =((

wah i feel lyk a slacker. im usin the portfolio tt xiao hui did and the ppt n posters n liz did.... ooh i sort of hope they dun read this.. i feel lyk a slacker... sorry guys... =((( i was dam slack after the camp was over... plus i wasted abt 70hrs of free periods, mainly sleeping n readin newspapers... =((((

run run

2008-07-31T19:07:00.003+08:00

so im signing up for the Bay Run... the 6km one of course. well im gonna do it, gonna be an achievement of some sort.

today's prob the last day im gonna indulge a little more.. n i'd take tis as a start to getting fit =)) hv to start preparing from now..

so im gonna start running abt 3.2 first n work my way up - shld be able to do 6km by 24th Aug...

whee...

bee

2008-07-29T18:54:00.004+08:00

cool tis is my 207th post...lol... nvr knew the blog'll last tis long - since sec 1 =))

"i tink next time i shall use the calculator for math test... haiz... the paper was so easy i made three careless mistakes!!!" - says ivan loh... -.-"
but thn its ivan loh.... -.-"

ram said he'd fail, kelvin said he'd fail, shide said he'd fail, jeremy says his score is stil at 30 -.-"

me? well lets just say tt for the last question i sub-ed in the x-value n got vol=0 when radius is 14... -.-"!!!

im tired, after gymmin, n there's lit essay on fri + a quiz on all 4 bks!!!!!!!!!!
i hv three days to read two books, their summaries n essays on the net... - oh n my new best friend is gradesavers =)) sparknotes; u are still important ;)

2008-07-27T11:53:00.002+08:00

well the test is tmr.. i've studied for hours... though abit last minute(hehe). i understand most of the questions.

trigo is abit hazy, but i've got the concepts..

oh well... =) let see what happens.. ;-)

=)

2008-07-26T21:05:00.002+08:00

i just watched Meet The Robinsons. i almost cried at the end.. sob sob... its such a touching story =)).... lyk wow.imagine hw it'd b lyk to go into the future n see ur self.

actually i'd think tt for most people, if they could see way into the future, they'd see that they are successful... so its kinda lyk ''wats the sweat?'' for now, but thn well every action will affect who you'd become...

so i practically spent the whole day doing math, n well im gonna continue... hahas manek was so kind as to stop n explain sums to me for 45min while on his way home =DD THANKS MAN!!!

im still trying to figure out the rates of change questions, i can solve some though.. lost my wksht 3 =(( its with sethu, shide or dhong i guess -.-"
haiz... well at least i noe i can get all the other questions correct =)))

clouds

2008-07-24T23:35:00.003+08:00

so i shld hv gone to sch today...

im losing my voice a little... =(( no more singing for ahwile...

good news!! glendon got into the finals for our ldp proj!! tt means no more free periods for me cos we hv to do up the guide thing we promised oneppl

well too many free periods ain't gd either.. i wonder when my RE presentation will be, the booklet will make our proj look all the more better =)) improve my chances of gettin into congress =)) im all for it =))

i did math the whole day, n i solved most of the sums i tried =DD

only left with the rate kinda questions.. prob ask sethu tmr =))

jus took my meds n i am dizzy n drowsy now, gonna hv my goodnite tea =)) n slp... whee..

CLE first period tmr!! =))

due

2008-07-23T21:24:00.002+08:00

haiz.. it just had to come altogether, all the tiredness, lack of sleep, mental stress... i mean just lack of sleep alone can mae me start sneezing but everything that can make me sneeze has come down, tis the worst ever...

so i stayed home today, with a fever =(( im feelin dizzy n my body aches =((

all i can think of is the math cct on monday - im nt prepared, n i hv 4 days left... i nd to recover n get back to sch so i cn find someone the explain applications of differenciation to me... =((

ah well... i hope im alrite tmr thn i cn get back to sch - planned to gym tmr but in this state i dun tink i cn...

oh well... gonna go thru math now n tmr n fri n sat n sunday...

oh when cn i play tennis? mayb next wk... =((

Zzz..

2008-07-20T21:37:00.003+08:00

i do somewhat wish tt there was no holiday tis wk... its lyk i just overcame the inertia n now i gotta overcome it again... =((

so bangkok n VLC n now i feel dead... wah VLC was seriously held at the wrong time.. for me at least -most of the rest had the APCG to finish their work...

but we watched the dark knight last nite - totally part of the camp - lyk how cool is tt.. we analysed the leadership styles of batman n the joker...
but sadly we could onli get seats in the front row...

thn chee yeow spotted empty seats at the back - so the two of us quietly sneaked back n found a row of 5 seats waitng for us.... =DD i pulled up the arm rest n jus sprawled on three while chee yeow took the other two... - well sadly everyone else was sitting infront cranking their necks..
thn tis morn PT was frm 6am to 8.30... came home at abt 1.30 after shide n dehong abandoned me half way thru lunch -.-" thn overslept (30min became 4.5hrs)
n now im dizzy n tired...

2008-07-16T21:20:00.001+08:00

Ooh… im now in my bath robe n slippers sitting on the armchair blogging. Total Relaxation..mm

So bangkok’s fun. Arrived yesterday morn after the flight at 7.10am. and the coolest thing was tt I got to go into to cockpit =D – tt’s lyk the best thing about my dad being a pilot =DD the stewardesses knew us n gave us coffee, and I got to enter the cockpit n lyk see my dad’s ‘office’… COOL!!!

So I got to go to france cos of his training, now I enter the cockpit, mayb I’d be flying one day.. well thinkin back I got to go to USA for 6mnths cos of his SAF training =))) – Disneyland, Florida; Alabama; Atlanta, Georgia; Washington D.C.; Virginia… simply wonderful

Well back to Bangkok – its basically shopping. Didn’t buy anyth yesterday, today I got three T-shirts n a pair of shorts. Hoping to get jeans, n a few more T-shirts…

I love the hotel, especially the bathroom… was lyk lying in the tub last nite reading – Winning with People – the books a little wet but it was reali nice n warm.

Oh im going for dinner now… byez

---------------------------------------------------------

We had dinner at the crystal grill on the 82nd floor. I’ve nvr seen such a long buffet table before… its stretched for three sides of the room.. I had salmon fritters , cheese balls, braised beef in red wine, seafood lasagna, chicken enchiladas, pasta, roast beef, a taco, sashimi – I lyk the tuna =) mm…. thn desert was the killer – chocolate cake, tiramisu, a swiss roll, fruit cake, a kinda very very sweet pie that was just very very sweet, and some thai coconut thing. Oh n some fruit..

Yea well u can’t go to a buffet thinking – oh im on a diet – it just ain’t rite ;)

Thn we went up to the 84th floor where there was this open air revolving deck. That was reali nice.. but it wasn’t as windy as I tot.. so tmr’s another day of shopping. I guess I’ll jus skip breakfast

---------------------------------------------------------

About to leave the hotel now… just had a long soak in the tub again =)) mmmm…. Yawn… we’ve gotta checkout in abt 30min n the flight’s at 2050….

So the soap holder cum handle thing on the wall just fell off after my dad used it to try to get out of the tub… lol.. we’ll be seeing it on our bill soon I guess…

so I got myself 5 T-shirts, 3 pants n 2 shorts =)))
I reali lyk my new jeans =DD

Sadly I’ve got no adapter cos my dad said the sockets here are the same -.-“ – even though I suggested bringing one. So once I leave I’ve only got two hrs of battery, prob jus nice to watch the bourne ultimatum…

Gonna go for one last stroll on the streets n some shopping while waitin for the flight…

*i lyk pink

2008-07-13T21:44:00.004+08:00

wah i kept postponing tt pop-up tt said there were updates to download, n now close to two mnths later my comp blue screen's on me n shuts down saying tt i had nt updated enuf - or smth lyk tt....

now im downloading 358mb of updates -.-" -- all the stuff tt i'd postponed for the last two+ mnths.....

ah.. i gotta seriously learn more about comps... rite now im rather com illiterate. other thn usin the net. ms word, ppt, msn messenger, paint n bloggin... i can't do pretty much anyth else.......

its lyk you're so far away, yet rite there too. why can't i just say smth?

2008-07-13T03:00:00.000+08:00

alrite so im being realli hardworking rite now. its 3am n i am doing my RE report, which i would hand up in two weeks time.

its up to about 44 pages now n tt's jus with all the formalities. appendices and LDP portfoilio put in. i hvn't inserted the 30+page camp proposal(which im am going to majorly edit first). so tt's close to 80 pages, without the main content...

i expect the main content to be around 15-20pages - mainly reflections and project process.
oh n there's still the small little 5-6pg gallery tt im gonna put in...

i wonder how my printer is gonna accomodate all tt. i might print out the camp proposal for my showcase portfolio =)

tink i shld go slp now - hehe tmr at tis time i'll be abt to leave for the airport to bangkok =DDDD

2008-07-12T22:43:00.003+08:00

I don't mean to drag it on,
but I can't seem to let to You go,
I don't wanna make you face this world alone,
I wannna let you go...

i really lyk tis song - speaks volumes about how i feel occasionally or actually rather frequently....

im putting movies on my comp for the trip to bangkok - bourne ulltimatum, minority report, and cast away... i didn't noe the files were tt big, prob a total of 3.5gb... oh well at least i procured them legally from vcd's tt i bought. unlyk some ppl who patronise certain websites...

whee... a holiday =))

----------

i stilll can't believe that i've got shingles. there's no pain, feels more lyk 10 mosquito bites on my back waiting to be scratched. n other than the 70 tablets of anitbiotics n 'anti-shingle' meds it feel lyk im normal...

my mum n grandma experienced quite alot of pain when they had shingles. i Really Have to Thank GOD for sparing the pain =DDD

2008-07-11T23:25:00.000+08:00

so im just thinkin back... haiz... OBS was one of the best things i've done. though it was horriblewas wearing track pants at nite n it raining every nite, so my pants are constantly wet.. n thn sleeping in puddles wah... horrible. but the row boat thing arnd the island was awesome.

thn prob PLTC =D... 6 meals a day, 30minute inspection, forced to sleep on tables cos its more comfortable, wathcing scary movies at ntie cowering behind wayne who keeps saying, "here's the best part, ARGH!!! - watch it its interesting"

Europe Trip was fun too playin hearts til 3am, n sneaking in and out of rooms in the dead of nite hoping rosie smith is nt on the prowl.

OIP, was not too bad, but then we were split up for homestay so tt was sad... had fun with jie qi though =) those good times...

thn comes all the Sec 1 orientaiton (2005,2008), SUTC n GTC... sec 1 prientation was alrite jus tt its orientation so u dun reali have tt good a time with new ppl n surroundings. n for the training camps, hahas pumping 100 at 2.30am thn swithcing to 100 crunches and 20min phantom chairs...

when u look back they're memories nt exactly fun. but the sense of camaraderie and batch spirit is reali strong and there's this wonderful sense of "we pulled thru n we survived" at the end of it all...

on this note, in some weird manner i can't wait for NS... the dirt, the sweat, n just roughing it out in tekong with some guy shouting at u to pump more. sounds fun.. =)